Women are always right

My wife is always right. Women have always been right, except for that one time in the Garden of Eden. There have been a few other times through the course of history where a woman has not been right. Those few times are the exceptions that prove the rule.

Since the entire family took a week to go to Seattle, the rest of the summer is dotted with short day trips here and there to round out our plans. This past week was one of those day trips. Well, not actually a day trip, since we stayed overnight. That moves it into the two-day trip on a technicality. Beloved found an amazing package deal for “Splash Lagoon” in Erie, PA. Splash Lagoon is billed as the largest indoor water park in the east.

Our visit to Splash Lagoon was wonderful. My three daughters and my wife loved the water slides. I enjoyed them a bit too, but my twenty-five year old bones started to hurt a little, so I spent a bit of time in the hot tub (oohh, that was nice), and observing some of the staff from the water park. It was a very noisy environment, with all that water splashing around. Since one of my jobs is in a noisy environment,  I greatly appreciated how the lifeguards could gain a colleague’s attention with a blow on a whistle and then communicate important information across a great distance.

The only negative experience I had during our visit was from a fellow guest. This gentleman was an addlepated twit. Perhaps, dear reader, you think I am harsh, but read on before you pass judgment upon my judgment. My wife and I were sitting next to each other on the deck of the hot tub. She decided to check on our daughters. She left her towel on her chair and I had my hand resting on it. Mr. Twit walked up, blankly staring over the top of my head, bent over, picked up Beloved’s towel, pulling it from my hand. He then wiped his face with it. He kept the towel, which was fine, since beloved would not have wanted to use it after that anyway.

When Beloved’s sister heard of our plans to go to an indoor water park in the summer, she was concerned and asked Beloved if she was sure that she wanted to go to an indoor water park while the weather was so nice. Being the father of three sisters, I have observed that sisters have a deep and profound love for each other and often question each other’s actions and motivations. A sister is constantly looking out for her sibling, eagerly desiring value-added outcomes for the loved one.

I am sure there is a dear reader who is already pointing out that my wife and her sister cannot both be correct in this situation. Let me restate that women are always right. Period. I, as a man, simply must enlarge my frame of reference to see how this is true. First, it has been a long, hot, dry summer in most of the country. Going to an outdoor water park is a right idea. Enjoy the heat, enjoy the sun, and get wet while you do. My sister-in-law was right.

My wife was right too. She had one shot to plan this getaway and she planned it for Thursday and Friday (the 26 and 27 of July). On Thursday, a strong line of thunderstorms moved through Eastern PA and much of New York State. The storms were so strong there was accompanying wind damage in PA, the power went out at Splash Lagoon, and there was a tornado in Elmira, NY.

Therefore, despite the observation that one of them had to be wrong, both my sister-in-law and her sister, my wife, were both right. This proves beyond any doubt that a woman is always right.