Considering my Eldest Daughter's Birthday

This next week, Eldest will celebrate her last birthday as a teenager. She has, in the space of one year, gone from entering college as a freshman in September to being listed as a Junior at the end of the spring semester. I miss her as a little girl, but am amazed at the young woman she has grown to be.

Earlier this year she came to me and said, “Dad, I want to go to Guacamole.”

I gazed back at her with that deep searching look that a father has for his daughter. And I thought to myself, “Guacamole? What is she talking about? She wants to go to a dip made from Avacados? Maybe I misheard her?” All of these, and many other thoughts crashed through my head.

Finally, I mustered up the courage and asked, “Guacamole?”

She looked at me strangely, “Yes, I think Guatemala produces the finest avocados in the world. But, I tell you I want to go to Guatemala and all you can do is ask me for Guacamole? You have lost it Father.”

My thoughts went something like this. “Whew, my daughter doesn’t want to be a dip. She doesn’t want to do strange avant garde art using guacamole. She just wants to go to Guatemala....  Wait! What? My little girl wants to leave me and go to a foreign country?!”

She saw the look of panic and fear on my face and gently reassured me. “Now Daddy, I don’t want to go there forever. The Enactus Club from college is going there on a missions trip. We are only going for 12 days. We are doing some work at an orphanage and a few other places. It is quite safe.”

“You want to go to Guatemala?” I stammered, still processing the shock.

“Yes, I have said it twice already.”

“The first time you said, 'Dad, I want to go to Guacamole.’”

Eldest rolled her eyes, “Dad, you are going deaf.”

To be quite clear, I am not going deaf; it is simply that people in today’s society mumble. With all the texting and Facebooking, and tweeting, and pinteresting, no one can articulate clearly anymore. This whole topic foments so much ire in me that when someone accuses me in mumble, of going deaf, I respond in the same way I responded to my daughter.

“What did you say? I didn’t hear you; I think I am going deaf.”

She replied, loudly, “I want to go to Guatemala!”

“Avocado you do.” I mumbled back.