Showing posts with label chores. Show all posts
Showing posts with label chores. Show all posts

Friday, October 25, 2013

Brainwashing Anyone?


The news this week carried an article about research done right here in my back yard. Well, not really my literal back yard, but a few miles up the road at the University of Rochester. The study showed that when a person sleeps, the brain is actually washed, by cerebral-spinal fluid, removing toxins that have accumulated during the day.

This brought back memories from when I was a young boy. I was fascinated with the concept of “brainwashing”. It seems to me that the concept appeared in a few shows that I watched. In those shows, brainwashing seemed to sometimes be accomplished by hypnosis and at other times complex machinery was used to plant suggestions for the brainwashee to act on, when stimulated by a specific stimulus. In more extreme cases, brain washing wiped a person’s memories and replaced them with new ones, creating a whole new person.


In fact, as a child, I wanted a pocket watch so I could hypnotize people. After all, it would be totally stinking awesome to get my brother and sister to do my chores for me. Then one Christmas, my brother and I got toy stop watches that I could run a string through and use to hypnotize my siblings. 
My evil plan was about to commence.

I tried to hypnotize my brother first, by spinning and swinging the plastic watch, dangling on the end of the string in front of his eyes. In as deep a soothing monotone as I could muster, I said “You are getting sleepy, very sleepy”.  It didn’t work. Then I tried my sister. This time i turned the lights down, to create a relaxing atmosphere. Once again, slowly swinging the watch, I chanted soothingly, “Sleepy, you are getting sleepy.” It still didn’t work. For a long time the three of us went back and forth, each of us trying to hypnotize each other, without success. No hypnosis, no brain washing, no getting our siblings to do our chores for us.  

Perhaps it was because the watches weren’t real pocket watches; they were toy stop-watches. Or maybe it was because they were plastic and not shiny silver or gold disks that beautifully reflected the light. Or maybe it was the string, rather than a fancy chain, we used to suspend the watches from our hands.

Years later, I took a psychology class, and the professor actually spent one class period teaching about hypnosis and demonstrated it in class. It was then I realized how complex the concept of hypnosis really is and that what you see on TV is not quite proper, because they don’t want little children hypnotizing their siblings and planting  the hypnotic suggestion of doing another person’s chores. 

Now that I have a better understanding of hypnosis, as well as three daughters, and lots of chores, if anyone is looking for a present to gift me for Christmas, I could use a nice shiny, metal pocket watch, with a real chain.

Thursday, August 1, 2013

The Summer Doldrums

At my house, we have reached the summer doldrums. When mariners of long ago would cross the equator, they would encounter areas where there would be no wind. Captains and crews would sit for days under the hot equatorial sun, waiting for a breeze to get their boats moving again.

That is where our household is at this very moment. In the doldrums. Waiting for a breeze to motivate our ship to move across the sea of midsummer’s languor. The stillness of the air and the slowness of activity is sapping our strength.

Alright, that is about as poetical as I can get. Seriously, it is a slow time in our house hold. Middlest commented the other day that she keeps losing track of what day it is. She has to work backwards from Sunday, since church makes Sunday significant in a week formless and void.

In order to preserve my daughters’ mental health during this time of inactivity, I have devised a series of mental exercises that will keep them in tip-top mental shape for school in the fall. Cleaning out the basement and painting the shed and the trim around the house top off that list. When I made the list public to my daughters, there was much grumbling and complaining. “Dad, we aren’t bored; we have Youtube, Pandora, Hulu, Facebook, and Twitter to keep us occupied and mentally challenged. Your list has nothing to do with mental health; it has to do with forced labor.”

As you can imagine, the rest of the conversation was short, mostly consisting of my scowling and growling and the girls’ eye-rolling and grumbling. I am not sure if this type of conversation is due to our Italian heritage, but it sounds more European if I say that is why we argue that way.

As of today, we have hauled 3 large bags of garbage out of the basement and most of the trim around the house is done and our shed is turning a delightful shade of caramel butterscotch (thanks to the artistic Middlest, who picked the color).

I am also proud to say that my daughters seem to be on top of their game mentally. I have seen one of them actually doing homework - and school doesn’t start for another month.