Mind Over Matter and a Clean Bedroom

Helicopters are on the minds of some professors and students at the University of Minnesota. In a place known for snow, these brilliant minds are flying a helicopter with only thoughts. The professor, Bin He, who I am told is no relation to Ben Her, explains that this contraption doesn’t really read a person’s mind, it senses electrical pulses in the brain to steer a drone-style helicopter through an obstacle course. 

When I first saw the headline, I thought it was simply wishful thinking. Ever since I saw telekinesis, the ability to move objects using only thoughts, on a science fiction movie as a child, I wanted that ability. I won’t name the movie here, but I will give you a hint – it rhymes with “Star Wars”. 

My mother would send me up to my room to clean and I would sit on the bed, straining to lift dirty laundry into the hamper, simply by mere urging of my thoughts. Well, that and some exotic hand positions and shaking of my arms. It is important for your arm to tremble, I suppose, since it must focus the brain waves.

During a half-hour of working on mind of dirty laundry issues, the inevitable would happen. My mind would start to wander and off I went day dreaming of all the wonderful things young boys day dream about, only to be interrupted by the sounds of mom’s footsteps as she ascended the stairs.

“Robert! What have you been doing for the past half hour? This room is still a mess.”

“I have been trying to use mind control to pick up the room, but apparently you didn’t give me good mutant jeans,” I replied.

Mother, always the practical one responded, “Genes. G-E-N-E-S. Jeans. J-E-A-N-S are the dirty pants on your floor that have to go into the laundry. In order for them to get there, you are going to have to expend some physical effort and pick them up by hand.”

“Ugh, if Yoda could teach Skywalker to lift an entire X-wing fighter out of a muddy swamp with his brain, I should be able put a dirty sock in the hamper the same way,” I complained.

Mother rolled her eyes and left, and I went back to cleaning the room, by hand. 

Perhaps it is a good thing that I never learned that whole telekinesis thing. I might have had a clean room, but the way my mind wanders I suspect my dirty clothes would have been scattered all over the playground. Yes, perhaps it is a good thing after all.