Friday, July 20, 2012

Boring week, I wish some of this stuff had happened

Last week I finished sharing about my trip to Seattle. I dragged it out as long as I could, hoping that something else interesting would happen that I could write about. Unfortunately, it has been a dull few weeks. Not that I mind dullness; it is sometimes good for life to be dull. I just have nothing to write about and I am not one of those people who seem to be able to make something out of nothing. The Bible indicates that God made everything out of nothing; people have been trying to duplicate this feat throughout history and have always failed miserably.

The administrators where I work are masters of attempting “something out of nothing”, but usually end up making nothing out of something out of nothing. Whenever something happens, even if it is so small it is really nothing, Administration immediately goes into overdrive, turning it into something. This frenetic activity usually takes the form of designing forms to be filled out and paperwork to sign. By paperwork I mean those long lists of items that outline what is acceptable and not acceptable behavior and usually end with a statement like, “By signing below I agree to follow all the above guidelines and do promise to do so upon the life of my first born child, and if I remain childless I pledge the life of my favorite pet/parent/grandparent.” I once was asked to sign one of those forms with an item that insisted that I keep “dust bunnies locked up at all times.”

Really? Dust bunnies? I get paid for this.

News organizations are often guilty of making something out of nothing and often enlisting the aid of the public in committing this deed. Just watch the evening news on a slow news week and you will find reporters with nothing to report putting a microphone in the face of an unsuspecting citizen who has nothing particular to say and asking them a question like, “Do you have any plans on addressing the crisis resulting from the overpopulation of dust bunnies?”

The unsuspecting citizen usually replies with something like, “Oh, I have noticed that there are a lot of dust bunnies these days, more than in past days. So, I have decided I am going to lock up my dust bunnies.”

Really? Dust bunnies? Who is going to steal dust bunnies?

Speaking of the media, this is the way I wish things would have played out in the media this past week. I recently saw Obama’s television ad criticizing Romney’s ability to sing “America the Beautiful.” Along with Obama’s poking fun at Romney’s musical aptitude there were some words scrolling along the screen about Romney sending many jobs out of the country. Romney’s response to this ad has been, “If you hadn’t clamped down on illegals working in the country, doing jobs American’s refuse to do, I wouldn’t have had to send jobs over seas.” This has ignited a storm of mudslinging between both camps and quibbling like little children.

Abraham Lincoln responded to this behavior by issuing a statement via Twitter, “Go to your rooms w/o dinner; you’re both grounded until you can behave like civil, God fearing adults and lock up your dust bunnies”

Really, dust bunnies?

Also in my estimation, it would have been a good week in news and politics if Charles Schumer, D-NY had issued the following statement:

“Over the past few weeks it has come to my attention that there has been a lack of precipitation across the great state of New York. This dearth of rain has led to not only my lawn, but the lawns of many New Yorker’s turning brown.

“Therefore, I am strongly urging the National Weather Service to forecast rain for New York. This, in my estimation, will help lawns across our wonderful state to return to a verdant greenish color and restore much of the natural beauty of the Empire State. This should result in an influx of tourism, filling my coffers, providing jobs for the citizens of New York.

“Oh, and my aids tell me something about it helping farmers too and dust bunnies too.”

Yes, dust bunnies too.

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