Friday, August 1, 2014

I Think I Caught a Virus

I have a virus. I was at work this past weekend, minding my own business, passing medications out to the residents, when one of them coughed on me. The person in question was sick, and this was not a little clear-your-throat cough, it was a full blown hack-cough.

Consequently, I have a virus.

After twenty-five years of working with people who score a little lower than you or I on some silly test and being a father to my three daughters, I have endured much. I have had pink-eye twice, a broken foot, Bell’s Palsy (due to trauma), strep throat, countless stomach viruses, and numerous upper respiratory infections. Therefore, it comes as no great surprise that I have been infected, yet again, with some malicious virus, causing me to sneeze, wheeze, wipe my eyes, and generally moan.

I have a cold.

I want to call down curses upon the head of the gentleman who gave me this illness. I want to stamp my foot and look him in the eye and say, “How could you be such an insensitive cad?” Then I remember, he once had the same symptoms that I now have, and so I scowl to myself and ponder how long I will be ill and what kind of revenge I can exact. 

Honestly, I probably won’t exact any revenge, but I find comfort in making up evil plans.

After all, I have a virus.

Due to my self-imposed isolation, I have been catching up on reading, since I have a few books that need finishing. I have also been reading the news from a variety of news sites and now I feel guilty. There are people in Africa, stricken with the Ebola virus, who are more likely to die, than to live. That is heart wrenching and I pray earnestly for those dear people. I almost feel guilty whining about my cold when I consider their lot.

Then I sneeze and cough and groan as my throat feels like its being torn to shreds. And my family wishes I would die or at least move to Africa, so they could have some peace and quiet.

You see, I have a virus.

I would write more, but my computer screen says that McAfee has finished a scan and is going to shut my computer down.  

Apparently, I have a virus and it doesn’t want it.


  1. Replies
    1. Thanks Norah, I am feeling much better thank you.

  2. Colds are disgusting and garner very little sympathy, after all you just have a cold!

  3. If I want sympathy, I describe my cold as a virally caused upper respiratory infection. It sounds so much more acute.