Thursday, June 23, 2011

Illegal Aliens, not as bad as we think.

The state of Georgia has passed a law. The law criminalizes harboring or concealing an illegal alien. I say, “It is about time.” Anyone who has carefully monitored this situation realizes that aliens, illegal or otherwise, are an evil breed. The only two aliens known to have not been evil, vile creatures are E.T. and Martin, from “My Favorite Martian.” Every other alien has been blood sucking, laser shooting, humanity destroying, peanut butter and jelly sandwich stealing creature from other planets.

My youngest daughter, Littlest, has just read my first paragraph, over my shoulder and corrected me. Apparently, Georgia is not concerned with aliens from outer space intent upon harvesting our brains, they are more concerned with people from other countries in the US illegally, and who are here to harvest our crops.

The Georgia General Assembly, concerned about illegal immigrants taking jobs from citizens has taken these steps to preserve these jobs for the fine citizens of that state. There is only one problem. No one wants those jobs. Farming is hard work, which apparently Lawmakers know nothing about. I have spent some time tossing bales of hay around, up onto hay wagons, and stacking them in the barn. It was hard work and that was a few years ago. More recently, I have picked strawberries, not a large amount, just a few quarts. I am older, and it was harder. My back was so sore I had to lay flat on my back for months.

Tom Rivers, a fine, strong, young, journalist, has written a book, “Farm Hands”. The Georgia General Assembly would have done well to read. (I think that they should be able read, even if they do not know anything about hard work.) Tom nicely relates how difficult farm work is, and how hard agricultural laborers work.

Because of the new penalties against illegal aliens working, there are 11,000 to few laborers on farms in Georgia. Crops are going to waste. Fear not, the state of Georgia has a solution. Criminals. Yes, ex criminals, who cannot find work, are encouraged to toil under the hot Georgia sun, picking peanuts, cucumbers and other vegetables. I have observed that criminals have something in common with Lawmakers, besides the obvious penchant for breaking laws, neither like to work hard. Lawmakers become lawmakers to avoid toiling under the hot sun, and criminals commit crimes, rather than finding a job. Criminals are not flocking en masse to Georgia farms to labor, thankful that they have work and there is still 11,000 too few agricultural workers.

In other news, economists predict that we will all be paying higher prices for food…well no duh! The largest producer of peanut butter, when asked about the lack of peanuts, responded that they are “Watching this sticky situation closely.” The leading maker of condiments has stated, “We do not relish the possibility of higher cucumber prices.”

My sources tell me that NASA has been transmitting world maps into space. The maps have an arrow pointing to Georgia, along with the words written in 6 different languages, including Klingon, “Attention Illegal Aliens, You are welcome here.”

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